Just check on me. Make sure I'm breathing and alive. Tell me you hope I feel better. Tell me you love me. Just general sayings that let me know you're there. Yeah. That's love to me. Unfortunately, I didn't get that. Many calls, texts, FB IM attempts, and nothing. Never heard back from him.
You know what that means to me? You don't have my back. I can't depend on you. It's bad enough you didn't check on me, but then you also didn't return my calls. So, I'm not on your "to do" list. I have no priority in your life. So, I have to be real with myself and let it go.
The truth is, I'm a 31 year old woman who wants to be married and have at least one beautiful baby. Preferably a girl. Being honest with myself, I realize that I make decisions to stay in situations that aren't quite right for a bit too long because I'm holding out for the dream. I WANT it to work. Because I DO love you. I actually care about you. And, I don't do that easily. I don't let people into my circle often. And you know that about me. And, yes, I'm getting older. And unfortunately, I no longer believe that there's just another love bus right around the corner. I think you have to be in the right place at the right time, because buses do stop running. And they often stop running when you need one the most.
But either way, I have to get off this particular bus. I have to let it go. It's taking me down the wrong path. I gave up depression a long time ago. I can't willingly hitch a ride that's headed toward destruction. So, thanks for the ride. There were a lot of fun times. I have no regrets.
But damn, I really hoped that would be my last ride...
